What with the recent killer Owen Hart and Graf Orlock albums — not to mention those imminent Ghostlimb jams! — Vitriol Records has been on quite a tear of late, but even those crazy bastards have realized the only way to truly put a cherry on top of this nasty buzzsaw sundae is by offering up another wild literary vision from the singular mind of Decibel‘s own Andrew Bonazelli, The Dreamt and Deathless Obscene. Readers of Bonazelli’s two previous gutter-classics-the-world-has-yet-to-catch-up-to (Mechaniks, A Regular) already know this, but for the uninitiated suffice to say our managing editor gets down with the sickness in a way that would turn the hair of those pussies from Disturbed sheet white and send them back home to their mamas even more drool-speckled and incoherent than they left. And that’s really saying something! You are missing out!

The video trailer for The Dreamt and Deathless Obscene is above. Synopsis and pre-order info here. We recommend dropping the few extra dollars for the “hand-assembled stained/screwdrivered/hammered” limited corpsepile edition — Mother’s Day is coming up, after all, and we all got tired of being ripped off on EBay after the fact a long time ago.

Obliterating everyone in attendance at this year’s Scion Rock festival in Pomona, California, British black metallers Anaal Nathrakh appear poised for extreme metal dominance. Though the group’s history takes them back to 1998 (debut album, The Codex Necro, landed in 2001), it’s the recent output, namely 2009′s In the Constellation of the Black Widow, that’s set them apart from grim-faced metallers aiming for a slice of the panda-colored pie. They’re dark, mechanical, and fucking creepy. And, hey, Anaal Nathrakh don’t wear corpsepaint, if that’s any consolation. True black metal grit!

Here’s what vocalist Dave Hunt has to say: “‘Paragon Pariah’. It’s a song about the guy who wrote Der Einzige Und Sein Eigenthum (The Ego And His Own), one of the bleakest thinkers in all of history who ended his days as the song says. Detested, forgotten and alone. Possibly a lesson for all of us about walking the walk. It’s also the one that close friends who’ve heard the new album thought was one of the most immediate songs on it. Instructions for use: set volume to ‘kill’ and press ‘blast’.”

Right Dave. We’ve set the volume to ‘kill’ (that’d be 11 in Spinal Tap parlance) and we’re waiting for legions of Deci-followers to press ‘blast’. Let the chaos ensue!

“Paragon Pariah”

** If you need one more track, the Brits have “Violenti Non Fit Iniuria” streaming at their MySpace.

Anaal Nathrakh’s new album, Passion, is out May 17th on Candlelight Records USA. Order it here.

In the canon of manly (or womanly, thank you very much) things, three drinks reign supreme: beer, whiskey, and coffee. Or so we’ve been told. Wanna really and truly send a rush of blood to your bits? Drink some fuckin’ tea. I’ve been saying for years that tea is the most bitchin’ beverage, but it’s taken the brilliant minds over at UCB Comedy to hammer the message home. FUCKIN TEA is where it’s at. (“ANTIOXIDAAAANTS!!”) Tea isn’t just for the Queen of England. It’s for us hardcore tattoo-nippled, ax-wielding viking motherfuggers who like a little civility every now and then. (“I LIKE TO SMELL IT FIRST!”) Take your illy bean-grinding, Stumptown locally roasted, Peet’s fair-traded snobbery and shove it up your Dunkin’ Donut hole. Drop a fragrant sack of FUCKIN TEA into some boiling water, and let the good times roll.